A few things that have come out of my mouth lately:

~You got to eat lunch and go to the bathroom alone today, so what exactly is YOUR problem?

~I have decided we are not going to talk to each other after 11p each night because nothing nice comes out of either of our mouths (I blame mine on extreme exhaustion...not sure what he blames his on.)

~Do you want a divorce? (In case you were wondering, he answered no.)

~Please don't lick your brother's head.

~Please don't throw *insert any object here* at William.

~If you walk up the stairs with Mommy and leave Daddy's computer alone, I will give you some chocolate. (After hearing "chocolate" Miguelito goes up the stairs in record breaking speed...this was at 9am.)

~Let's play with our cars on the floor and not put them in the fireplace, okay?